Dear Dhamma Friend,
You might be pleased to know that I have formally requested anagarika training from Venerable Canda, and she accepted! I intend to complete the preliminary training as Anagarika for part of this year and the next, and if all goes with the current flow of things, go on to samaneri training for some time and in a beautiful culmination of those training years, I will be able to ask for the full bhikkhuni ordination. Upon requesting full ordination as ordination and if accepted by the Sangha at that time, I would be able to start journeying as a junior bhikkhuni; a gradual training from 8-precepts all the way to observing 311 precepts.
Whilst the present moment is often alluded to as being timeless, on a very apparent level the experience of samsara through the body has a clear beginning and middle and that means that the concept of time is pervasive and holds us. There is a time to train as a layperson, to sit and walk retreats, to support the Sangha (the Bhikkhuni Sangha and the Bhikkhu Sangha), and to delve deeper into the monastic aspirations, that time is now for me – a gift truly given.
I envision that my life in training will consist of more comprehensive studies of the suttas, not with the intention of being a scholar, or to win the Buddhist pub quiz, or to best others in philosophising about ancient languages and doctrines, but to have the standard knowledge base which will support my practice, and perhaps one day in the far distant future gives me some ability to share the teachings. I pre-empt that the life in training means opportunities to serve the Dhamma and Sangha more intimately, gone are the wonderful days of bringing dana to the monastery, but coming will be the days of folding a monastic’s or long-termers’ laundry (others’ and my own), setting up the dhamma hall for sutta discussions, building relationships with renunciates by living amidst them – and over time having increasing involvement in duties of varying complexity.
What about the meditation, cultivation of right mindfulness and right stillness? In line with Ajahn Brahm’s approach – he who introduced me to Buddhism in 2014 through a dhamma talk in my late teens – I mean to practice and do practice meditation but never forget that the practice ripens more from how the mind is applied when we are in our various postures and modes of being whilst off the cushion. I am looking forward to loads of kindful service, building and sustaining seemingly ordinary qualities such as sharing, listening, learning, having good manners, supporting those in need, and advocating for those less privileged, marginalised or underrepresented from the perspective of a trainee-monastic. I smile at the potential future of sitting the the rains retreat with the well-established and wise, but out of faith and my own sensibilities also see that those 3 months in silence will flow in a way which is closely influenced by the other 9 months before the rains retreat, and the years bygone.
Special and honorable mentions to all of you who are the Anukampa community, the current opportunities within the Anukampa project are due to years of work by the community. On a personal level I would like to express gratitude to individuals in the community I have interacted with, heard or seen, for they have been examples of wholesome qualities and allowed me to see the dhamma in action – the community are supporters of the Bhikkhuni Sangha but also my teachers and will continue to be.
Even more special and even more honorable mentions to the teacher Venerable Canda, who began the project and can be given credit for the way it is, but also on a personal level is an older practitioner than myself, an experienced female alms mendicant, a monastic to respect, a role model to follow the example of, a female to approach in a way I cannot approach monks, a marginalised individual to relate to, a person to be open to as a human.
Salutations to my family, being Afro-British I grew up in a cultural context which is community-oriented, I was brought up in a notably ethical family which is non-religious in many ways but lives with Christian undertones. We have experienced emotional and psychological divides which widened as I spent more of my time in secluded Buddhist spaces – to them at the time it seemed that I was separating from our family and our values. I am blessed to say that I and my family have grown and keep on, they have helped me more than they can imagine by listening, seeing more clearly what we are doing as people who are inclined towards the Dhamma, and by explaining to other family members who were perplexed. This level of gracefulness is currently seen in action as my two elder biological sisters occasionally visit the monastery out of familial duty and love.
Thoughts of appreciation to my previous studies and work in the health and social care sectors, my former colleagues, educators who were training me in ethical mainstream work, and instilled in me some other important skills and values. I admit I am glad to be branching out into a field even more nuanced and special in my eyes, for example, I am looking forward to more detailed studies of the Karaniya Metta Sutta (Sn 1.8), Mangala Sutta (Sn 2.4), Ratana Sutta (Sn 2.1), Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta (SN 56.11), Anattalakkhana Sutta (SN 22.59 and Adittapariyaya Sutta (SN 35.28).
In true human fashion instead of superhuman, I love what the changes of this year bring and I do not want to ever be separated from a life which is like this. If there is another human life for me, I hope right off the cuff it starts off with training in a wholesome Bhikkhuni Monastery alongside the equally important strong community, and in the backdrop of an ethical and kind-natured family. All our lives are undulating, times are flowing, trainings ever deepening of various depth, breadth, beauty, and processes are ever unfolding – the concept of time ever repeating. On that note, may we all reach the restful abidings which are independent of the conventional nature of time.
Chie xoxo
