Welcoming 2 Aspiring Bhikkhunis To Anukampa’s Community!
On Sunday 16th March, Anagarikaa Upacala renewed her training precepts with me as her teacher, which also meant formally joining the Anukampa community as my first trainee. This step marks a pivotal point for Anukampa as we now have another long-term resident at the monastery ~ a precious new kalyanamitta (spiritual friend) for everybody here! It is also a turning point for Buddhism in the UK, because this is the first time that a woman has been able to take up anagarikaa training with a wide open path ahead to becoming a full member of the monastic Sangha as the Buddha prescribed, with no glass ceilings limiting her growth within that Sangha. In other words, she can train as a bhikkhuni who will eventually be empowered to train her own nuns, meaning there will be more well-trained bhikkhunis to spread the Dhamma far and wide! My heart is full of mudita for An. Upacala, as well as gratitude towards the countless good hearts who helped create the conditions to make this possible.
Establishing monasteries is always hard work. Navigating the extra challenges intrinsic to an environment where bhikkhunis face discriminatory attitudes and the entrenched view within some Buddhist traditions that monks are a greater “field of merit” than nuns, makes it far harder still. Some people non-sensibly argue that women don’t “need” to be fully ordained and train in adhisila (higher virtue) as the Buddha recommended, yet support fully ordained monks without question! It is therefore understandable that some of our early supporters (and I) underestimated the challenges involved in establishing a Bhikkhuni Sangha in England, and I commend those for whom the challenges served to strengthen your resolve.
I am so happy that I never gave up! Serving Anukampa means so much to me, not only because it serves female renunciates but also because it offers a me way to express my immense gratitude and respect for Ajahn Brahm’s teachings and the sacrifices he made to enable women (like me) to be fully ordained. His unconditional friendship and support have been a constant source of inspiration that kept me going when times were tough. Not only have we now established a beautiful monastery, I’ve learned things I’d never have otherwise learned ~ about myself, and by extension the human mind ~ that have helped me grow in wisdom and compassion. I am continually learning how much resilience, courage and tenderness is required in a leadership role ~ a willingness to break and be stitched back together again, (and again and again) ~ in order to continue against the odds. I’ve learned to ask for help, as well as to extend a strong supporting arm to others.
Witnessing budding aspirations developing in young women has been another huge energy source. I knew there may be women who, like me, sustain a strong aspiration to practice as renunciates and search for an opportunity to ordain, yet I didn’t know who they might be. In retrospect, it was a bit like giving metta to a stranger or invisible being. I trusted they existed (somewhere out there!) and I wanted it to be easier for them than it was for me. I have also come to realise that as we speak, there are women who may not know they have a monastic calling ~ because such a choice has never felt real. How can we choose a vocation ~ mundane or spiritual ~ when it is not even on our radar of choice? With so few bhikkhuni monasteries worldwide (and the array of wrong views that regard female monastics as lesser than, or “fortunate guests” of, monks), there is no wonder the Bhikkhuni Sangha is sparse. And obviously this has consequences for the accessibility and reputation of Buddhism. I’ll never forget the Chinese student who came to our previous Vihara and whose eyes melted with tears, as she uttered: “I never knew this could be possible for me,” or the young Norwegian man who said: “Bhikkhunis are redeeming Buddhism.”
In the years before we had a Vihara, I met women for whom the idea of monastic life was novel, yet remote. I started realising that, given the necessity of playing an upfront role in strengthening the systems that support female alms mendicants, before they can go forth, my first aspirants would need considerable maturity in meditation coupled with a deeply compassionate, sustained intention to serve. Did such women exist and where? I also appreciated, by putting myself in their shoes, that it could be challenging to train with a single senior nun and no peers. Wasn’t all this a long shot? At large monasteries with established communities, an anagarikaa or junior nun would have ample pre-existing support, few responsibilities and many sisters in robes. Taken together, these realities meant we needed great patience and trust, and I thank you all for yours.
Imagine my delight today. Conditions have finally conspired to bring us together in such a way that I have not one, but two excellent aspirants! I could not imagine nor wish for a finer pair and I am stoked that they have each other as peers. There also exists a beautiful dynamic of three-way support ~ respectful yet relaxed, allowing for fun. Our current Polish guest Joanna said the energy between us reminded her of the story of Anuruddha, Kimbila and Nandiya ~ three monks in the Buddha’s day who “blended like milk and water,” regarding each other with loving eyes (paraphrased from Upakkilesa Sutta) ~ and that’s how it feels to me.
Which brings me to Chie. Another beloved member of our community, who stayed with Ven Upekkha and I for many months last year, even completing the move with us to Anukampa Grove, Chie will take her anagarikaa precepts on 20th April, at 3pm. If she continues her training (and may it be so!) this will make her the first British woman to train right through from anagarikaa to bhikkhuni ordination in the UK! Not wishing to get ahead of myself, nor anyone else, the joy is in the voyage and I feel utterly blessed to have Chie on board.
I know that more learning, growth and challenges (not always immediately inviting!) lie ahead. And whatever is to come, we will face. I take heart knowing that together, as three kalyanamittas open to feedback, willing to be honest and vulnerable with each other, we can journey further on this path than we could alone, if not to the journey’s end. Going forth for the complete freedom from suffering and the highest happiness of Nibbana is the ultimate way of paying back our debt of gratitude ~ to the Buddha, our teachers and all those who support us in our aims. Thank you from the depths of my heart and on behalf of everyone who has benefitted from our work so far, for your inspirational, steadfast support. I hope you are rejoicing with us!
I share these touching messages of support from my Dhamma “big brothers” and sister:
Dear Ayya,
Sādhu!!! This is great news! A real monastery taking shape in real time!
Much metta and very best wishes to you and your new kalyānamitta,
Ajahn Brahmali
OMG I am so happy for her! Ayya, you are doing an amazing job, and it was truly heartwarming to witness your community. May our sister Bluejay* fly free!
with metta
Bhante Sujato
Anumodana!!!!
You both – us all – deserve it SOO much.
Sabba dukkha nissarana – nibbana sacchi karanattha ya
May your friendship bear great fruit.
With muuuuch happiness (and a great deal of excitement)
Ven Upekkha
And Ajahn Brahm, via Zoom, has pledged that: “You both have my full support.“
*Bluejay (or literally, “little sister bluejay” is the meaning of Upacala, who was also an arahant bhikkhuni and Ven. Sariputta’s middle little sister, in the Buddha’s day 🙂
